Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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