Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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