Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
