oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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