sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
