Please, let me fuck your mom
I skipped work to stalk him.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
