My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
