theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
