It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
