i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
