Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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