i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
