I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
