we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
