He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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