The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize