You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
