The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
