i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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