You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
