the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
