I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
