So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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