NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
