Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
