I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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