...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
