the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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