we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
