my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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