For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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