Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
