i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
