Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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