I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We smell like vodka and hangover
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
