just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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