Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
