I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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