he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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