I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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