The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There r osticjed everywhere
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
