I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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