I haven't been this sober since birth.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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