Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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