hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
