In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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