Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
