it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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