haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
