I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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