Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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