I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I love having hate sex.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
