It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
