you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
