I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
