May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
