my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Randomize
