I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
