At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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