apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
